Where is CHER when we need her?

Where is Sally Kirkland...where is Cher...where is Barbra...where are the good old badly dressed gals that we loved to make fun of? Would Michelle Pfeiffer's half &half white bridal satin tuxedoed one sleeved ballgown be a fashion fumble today? With a chimney sweep tophat almost could be John or Lee! I'm expecting Vivian Westwood to pull out all the stops with Helena Bonham Carter. Will she be the new Bjork? And I'm lusting for bicycle shorts sans skirt perhaps on Khloe K with a top cut to there and sky high hooker heels...clear vinyl platforms please! Is Hollywood the new and improved Project Red Carpet? Perhaps the more pertinent question would be not "who are you wearing" but "WTF are you wearing? " Let's keep hoping that someone will trip...fall...have a meltdown or malfunction so we can laugh our heads off and be glad we're not there...or are we??? Stay tuned the flopinista report coming your way on Sunday! SEE...if Lindsay had only said she was testing it for the Academy Awards and given the jeweler credit...her problems would have disappeared of course along with the necklace! I'm off to pop popcorn for 40 see ya sunday